What's in a baby name? Plenty of "y's"
Posted: Friday, June 29, 2007 1:52 PM by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper
Filed Under:
Pop culture
The Wall Street Journal had one of those so-weird-it-can't-be-real stories a week ago: It's about how some parents are now paying hundreds of dollars to "name consultants" to help them name their babies.
I am thisclose to thinking the story is a late April Fool's Day hoax, because...what? How hard is it to come up with a baby name? It's actually one of the most fun tasks of the whole pregnancy process -- far above choosing a daycare center or buying a car seat.
If you have Internet access, you can read through thousands of possible names for free. If you have library access or $10 for a book, you can pore over list after list of names. (And, need I point out, if you're old enough to have a baby, you're old enough to have come in contact with thousands of names on your own...this should not be a new concept.)
Yet that didn't stop one mother from paying $475 to have someone test the "numerology" of her baby's name to see...I don't know, if the baby would win at craps with that name? She could have given me $475 and I'd have told her anything she wanted to hear about the name.
Another couple hired a consultant to give them an 11-page list of names (again, Internet, library books...free!). The name they picked? Jackson. They needed a consultant to do this? Never heard of Jackson Pollock, or Andrew Jackson? Or Willis and Arnold Jackson from "Diff'rent Strokes"?
The names in this country have been swinging on a three-pronged trend lately, if you ask me. Don't get me wrong, some of the names are still great, but it's funny to watch the trends. Here are the three main groupings I see:
One: Old-fashioned names, aka Grandma names: Hannah, Violet, Henry, Charlotte, Emma. Some of these names you haven't seen since they were calligraphied in ink in the family bible from the 1800s. But except for that show-wrecking baby from "Mad About You," the name "Mabel" has yet to make a comeback.
Two: Last names and city names. I had a friend who dubbed her child's grade-school group "the airport class" since so many of them (Madison, Logan, Austin) had names that were also airport names. My own last name, Cooper, has been snatched up as a baby name, and McKenzies and Kennedys crowd the local playgrounds. (Only they sometimes spell them "Mykynzyeee" and "Kynnydey.")
Three: Wacky names. We've moved on from Rainbow and Sunshine, but just check out our new Celebrity Baby Names application to see what Hollywood types are calling the little ones these days. River. Dezi. Cayden. Magnus. William Huckleberry. Gable. Heaven Rain. Milan Hayat. Speaking as someone who's had to spell her first name every single day for her entire life, you kids have my sympathies.
The classic Web site, "Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing," has long highlighted the craziness in baby naming. If you've never checked it out, clear your schedule for a few hours, because exploring it is awfully addictive. You'll meet parents who want to change the spelling of a name so it begins with the same letter as their other kids, parents who think "Oleo" is a good name for a child, and plenty of parents who think the letter "i" is evil and should be abolished and forcibly replaced by plenty of "y" and "ee" usage instead.
Update: The comments are full of reports of people naming their babies things like "Orangejello," "Lemonjello" and "Placenta." True, or just an urban legend? Snopes.com has an interesting take on it here. Some of the names of this type that they've been able to substantiate inclue Ima Hogg, Mark Lemongello (last name, not a first) and Shanda Lear, of the Lear jet family. Yes, she could probably afford a few chandeliers, then.
