Worst lyrics ever: My lovely lady lumps
Posted: Wednesday, August 29, 2007 10:54 AM by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper
Filed Under:
Music
We've just discussed the best and worst commercials, but how about spending a day or two on another "worst" -- worst song lyrics? A friend sent me this link from Spinner.com, which is chock full of fun music lists -- saddest songs, monumental flops, best opening lyrics, worst band photos and more. But the list that caught my eye was their list of the 20 worst lyrics ever.
Although you might argue with some of the lyrics, (I'm actually a fan of the lyrics they place at #11), the choices are pretty solid -- and horrifying.
50 Cent promises "I love you like a fat kid loves cake."
America tells us "There were plants and birds and rocks and things."
I'm kind of thankful I have no idea what Slayer is getting at.
And I'm not even going to comment on #4, because that's a picture I don't need in my head, thanks.
The site also let readers share their worst-lyrics nominations, and allowed other readers to diss or support those offerings. Some are quite defensive of their favorite tunes and artists. Sniffs one: "A partial line, taken out of context, from the complete lyric. In context it makes complete sense. An exceptionally stupid choice for this list." If you say so, Mr. Seger.
And some even find it in their hearts to defend the infamous "someone left the cake out in the rain" line from "MacArthur Park." Just goes to show you there's somebody for everybody, and somebody loves every lyric out there.
The list got me thinking, and here are some of my picks for worst lyrics of all-time, some of which appear on the two Spinner lists. Note: I even like some of these songs, but I can't defend all of the lyrics.
• "And no one heard at all, not even the chair." --"I Am ...I Said," --Neil Diamond (The chair, it must be said, does not really pay attention even on its best days.)
• "Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy" -- "Bawitdaba," Kid Rock (I actually like this song quite a bit, but it's not like I can't admit it's pretty goofy. "All my homies in the county in CELL BLOCK SIX" is one of those lines that just begs to be shrieked at the top of your lungs while banging on a car roof.)
• "New York to East California, there's a new wave comin', I warn ya." --"Kids in America," Kim Wilde (EAST California? So...like...Susanville?)
• "My hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps, in the back and in the front." --"My Humps," Black-Eyed Peas (Slate called it "proof that a song can be so bad it veers toward evil.")
• "Having my baby, what a lovely way of saying how much you love me..." --"Havin' My Baby," Paul Anka (Ask any pregnant woman what's wrong with this song. And this isn't really the most bizarre lyric, the song is full of 'em.)
I know you can do better than me. Submit your own favorite worst lyrics in the comments, and be sure and comment on why they bug you. I imagine most will be quite self-explanatory.
UPDATE: Here's an (admittedly limited) poll of some of the most popular bad, bad lyrics, just for fun.
