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MSNBC.com Television Editor Gael Fashingbauer Cooper started Test Pattern in 2003. She also operates her own pop-culture Weblog, Pop Culture Junk Mail, which began in 1999 and has earned praise from Entertainment Weekly and the New York Times. You'll occasionally see her on MSNBC cable or hear her on radio discussing the ABCs of TV.



Most misheard lyrics: Rockin' the catbox, with a bathroom on the right

Posted: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 5:00 AM by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper
Filed Under:

We've been discussing made-up and just plain bad lyrics, death songs, and more, but one topic that keeps cropping up is the lair of the misheard lyric (as in "wrapped up like a douche," discussed here). From the numerous versions of popular songs that exist only in our heads, you'd think we were all half-deaf.

The most popular ones are chronicled so well on great Web sites such as KissThisGuy.com, named for the famous misheard Hendrix lyric, which is really "kiss the sky." The site asks lyric submitters fun questions, such as how old they were when they found out they were wrong ("I'm WRONG?") and whether they think their lyric is better than the original ("Damn straight!") I also love AmIRight.com, a similar site.

San Francisco Chronicle columnist Jon Carroll, one of my favorite columnists writing today, refers to misheard lyrics as "Mondegreens." It comes from an old Scottish lyric, "they have slain the Earl of Murray, and laid him on the green," which was misheard as "they have slain the Earl of Murray, and Lady Mondegreen."

Carroll believes the most misheard lyric is "Gladly, the cross-eyed bear," as opposed to the real lyric, "Gladly, the cross I'd bear." Hmm. Funny, but that hymn's not in too many of our daily radio rotations.

But he admits that "There's a bathroom on the right," as misheard for CCR's "There's a bad moon on the rise," is a close second. Numerous readers have submitted "bathroom on the right" in our comments, despite admitting with embarrassment that, well, the song's title should perhaps have tipped them off.

Here are just a few of those other most-misheard lyrics, as compiled most unscientifically by me, poking around those sites:
• "The girl with colitis goes by." (Real lyric: "The girl with kaleidoscope eyes," Beatles)
• "Olive, the other reindeer." (Real lyric: "All of the other reindeer.")
• "The ants are my friends, they're blowing in the wind." (Real lyric: "The answer is blowing in the wind," Bob Dylan.)
• "There's a wino down the road." (Real lyric: "And as we wind on down the road," Led Zeppelin.)
• "In a glob of Velveeta, honey." (Real lyric: "In-A-Gadda Da Vida," a.k.a., "In the garden of Eden," Iron Butterfly.)

Here are some of the misheard lyrics that I confess I've gotten wrong all by myself:
• "How's about a date?" (Real lyric: Billy Idol's "Eyes without a face.")
• "It means so much to me, like a birthday, or a preview." (Real lyric: Duran Duran's "A birthday, or a pretty view," from "Rio.")
• "Hello, hello! I'm in a place called Oregon!" (Real lyric: U2's "Hello, hello! I'm at a place called Vertigo.")
• "Even Dallas games, people play." (Real lyric: "In the jealous games people play," Go-Gos "Our Lips Are Sealed.")
• "Sure as Kilimanjaro rises up like Memphis, above the Serengeti." (Real lyric: "Rises like Olympus," from Toto's "Africa.")
• "Go hippie, go hippie, go." (Real lyric: "Go ahead, be gone with it," from Justin Timberlake's "SexyBack.")

Here are some of the misheard lyrics that are so out there it's hard to believe anyone thought they were true. (Some of these gained fame from being used in commercials or TV shows.)
• "The sheep don't like it, rockin' the cat box." (Real lyric: "Shareef don't like it, rock the Casbah," The Clash.)
• "Pour some shook-up Ramen." (Real lyric: "Pour some sugar on me," Def Leppard.)
• "Hold me close, young Tony Danza." (Real lyric: "Hold me closer, tiny dancer," Elton John.)
• "Round John Virgin." (Real lyric: "Round yon virgin," from "Silent Night.")
• "Bald headed woman." ("More than a woman," Bee Gees.)

And here are five misheard lyrics from those sites that just made me crack up. Many of these are ones I've never heard before, but you can bet I'm singing the songs that way from now on.
• "Here we are now, in containers." (Real lyric: "Here we are now, entertain us," Nirvana.)
• "Lucy's in a fight, with Linus." (Real lyric: "Lucy in the sky with diamonds," Beatles.)
• "Who you gonna call? Those bastards!" (Real lyric: "Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!")
• "Desperado, you've been outright offensive, for so long now" (Real lyric: "You've been out riding fences," The Eagles.)
• "If you change your mind (Jackie Chan), I'm the first in line (Jackie Chan)." (Real lyric: "If you change your mind (take a chance)," from Abba.)

We can't possibly compete with KissThisGuy, AmIRight, and Jon Carroll, but bring out your best misheard lyrics and share them in the comments.

 

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For the longest time, my husband thought the Metallica song "Sad but True" was actually "Sex Patrol."  To this day, he will tell me to listen more closely because he swears that's what they're saying... :o)
My little sister used to sing "Wastin' away again in my gorilla suit" ("Wastin' away again in Margaritaville" from Jimmy Buffett) and I can't help but sing it that way now.  The mental image tickles me to no end.
My best friend to this day sings, "The world loves one eyed peas, so let's get some more one eyed peas!" in Pretty Fly (for a White Guy) by The Offspring. The correct lyrics are, "The world loves wannabe's/
So let's get some more wannabe's"
Don't Cry for me, Marge and Tina! (Don't Cry for me Argentina).

and another one:

Madonna's Love Profusion:  "I've got Jew under my skin" the real lyric is "I've got you under my skin"... easy mistake considering madonna and her kabbalah.
Oh... when I was a kid the lyric from "Deck the Halls" of "Donning now our gay apparel" always sounded like "Dawning now our day of peril."
I never understood the words to Sukiyaki or Eres Tu.  What?  They're in Japanese and Spanish?  ....Nevermind!
A friend back in high school thought Paul McCartney's Live and let die" said "the liver man died."
I'm convinced most of those misheard lyrics are just made up.  I'll believe them if they match the sylable count and at least come close to rhyming, but "You're the one that I want"  confused for "you're the wobbly dog"????  "Making love to his tonic and gin" confused for "Making love to this really tiny chick"????

The classic "Revved up like a douche" is understandable since that actually sounds like what he's saying, most most of these misheard lyrics must be from folks not listening to the song at ALL.
When I was little I used to think the lyric was "harlips a seal" instead of "our lips are sealed". I thought it was a song about a seal. I still sing it that way, I even have my boyfriend singing it that way too when it comes on the radio!
from you'll think of me by kieth urban

Take your records, take your freedom...
i heard:
take iraqi's, take your freedom

and then

And take your cap and leave my sweater
i heard:
take your cat and leave my sweater

-

my friend nearly died of laughter when i shared this with her :)

Oh, Katie, I am with your husband on the Sex Patrol thing...I was in college before my boyfriend clued me to that one.

And I had a friend who experienced her first time with a guy while Aerosmith's Dude Looks Like a Lady was playing in the background.  She thought it was sooo romantic that "Do Me Like a Lady" was now their song.
How could you have left out:
"she's got electric boobs, a mohawk too"
("She's got electric boots, a mohair suit") Bennie and the Jets by Elton John.
My 13 year old daughter is apparently always thinking about food - we were listening to the radio, which was playing "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco. After the chorus ("Amadeus Amadeus, Amadeus Amadeus") she asked me why they were singing "hot potato hot potato." About two months later the song playing was "Material Girl" by Madonna - she thought Madonna was singing about Cheerios!! :)
In No Doubt's song, Spiderwebs, the lyric goes "It's all your fault, I screen my phone calls'.  Up until two years ago, I could have sworn that lyric was 'It's all your fault, I scream my balls off', which never made sense to me because of Gwen Stefani being a woman and all.  

Unfortunately, my friends have never let me forget it either.
Steve Winwood's "Roll With It, Baby" was misheard as "Go Wicked, Baby!" by a friend of mine.  
John Fogerty even used "Bathroom on the right" as a joke when he'd perform live.
A friend back in HS thought Billy Joel's "Honesty" was actually "Sorry Steve". It took alot to convince her she was wrong. I kept telling her "Sorry Steve is such a lonely word" did not make sense. LOL over that.
This one got me a lot of strange looks when I sang it (the Eagles, "Take It Easy"):

"Looking for a lover who won't blow my brother."

(It actually is "Looking for a lover who won't blow my cover").  I was well into my 30s before I found out I was singing it wrong all those years!
"Puttin' on the Ritz" by Taco: "different types you wear a day, pants with stripes, *a cutaway coat*" was always "accord a Waco" to me.  (Not that it made any sense (though we had family in Waco!), but I had no idea what they were saying!)

And not that anyone's routinely jamming away to old hymns, but growing up I thought the song "Bringing In the Sheaves" was "Bringing in the Cheese", though I never understood why we would "come rejoicing, bringing in the cheese"...
I used to swear the line was, "I'll never leave your pizza burning." It was really, "I'll never be your beast of burden." I like my way better... it speaks of total commitment.
To this day, when I hear "Rock You Like a Hurricane" by the Scorpions, I swear he's saying "Here I am...raunchy like a hurricane...."
The first time I heard Bad Moon on the Rise, I was very young and swore they were singing bathroom on the right..and apparently wasnt the only one....

this should be one interesting post to read in the next few days...
My roomate in college thought it was "Big Suburban" instead of "Beast of Burden" the Rolling Stones song.  I still hear it, and laugh about that.
For the longest time I thought the lyrics to Paradise City were.  "Take me down to the very last city".  My husband corrected me and I argued until I found the real lyrics.  
"I'm Shaving" instead of Garth Brook's "I'm Shameless."
My brother-in-law, about 12 at the time, used to think Elton John was singing "I kill salmon, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah," instead of "I'm still standing." Another one was ""Murray Hayes" instead of "Glory Days" by Bruce Springsteen. I like them better with with mondegreens.
I've heard a few people sing "there's a bathroom on the right" instead of "a bad moon on the rise" from Creedence
My boss was surprised when I told her "Bad Moon Rising" said bad moon on the rise, not bathroom on the rise. She thought that was the real lyric!

That reminds me of an old episode of the Bob Saget hosted America's Funniest Home Videos. Saget made a joke about bathroom on the right.
When we were little my brother had some good ones, but the best was in "Delta Dawn" - the lyric is something like "could it be a faded rose from days gone by" but his version was "Could it be a faded rose from Baseball High?"
BTW, I seriously have always thought that in the Keith Urban song he was saying "cat". It never occurred to me that it was "cap".   I think a woman is more likely to have a cat than a cap so I'll keep singing it that way.
I had a friend in college that always sang "You and Me and Minnie Pearl. Sometimes it feels like you and me and Minnie Pearl", instead of "You and Me against the World".
How about "Secret Asian Man" by Johnny Rivers, instead of "Secret Agent Man". Also my daughter likes to sing "even old New York was once New Hampster-dam to They Might Be Giants' "Istanbul(not Constantinople)"
when my son was 5 he would sing sweet home hamabama instead of Sweet Home Alabama
How about "We all have a momma" for the real Sweet Home Alabama song!
My mom, when she was young, used to think "little red corvette" was "pay the rent or else". I thought that Alanis Morisette was sinnging about a cross-eyed bear in "You Oughtta Know" ("It's not fair to remind me of the cross I bear that you gave to me"). Also, my mom told me that Color Me Bad was singing  "I wanna set you up", which was really "sex you up" but what can I say? I was 7.
The "cross-eyed bear" Mondegreen is common, but I believe Mr. Carroll misses out on the fact that it's also found in Alanis Morisette's "You Oughta Know."

"The cross-eyed bear that you gave to me..."
oh, also, when I was like 5 my friend and I were singing "Stop in the name of love" and we sang "baby roll over" instead of "think it over". Our parents were cracking up!
I’ve got 2 misheard lyrics. When I was younger I thought I heard in Kenny Rogers Lucille “you picked a fine time to leave me Lucille, 400 hundred children and a crop in the field” when it was “4 hungry children and a crop in the field.” Then Carrie Underwood’s Jesus Take the Wheel “she was running low on faith and Vaseline” when its “she was running low on faith and gasoline”

I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who hears the wrong lyrics!!
Angela in AL:

Keith Urban's lyrics for "You'll Think of Me" really are -take your CAT, leave my sweater- You were right all along.
I'm crying of laughter at work right now...I really thought that the Keith Urban song was "take your cat and leave my sweater".

When I was a kid, I thought that the Beatles song "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" was about a fat girl. My dad explained to me that in the 60's, "heavy" meant "cool". I didn't actually mishear the lyrics, but it's a misinterpretation nonetheless.
The song White Flag by Dido will never be the same for me again. An acquaintance of mine thought the line that is actually "I will throw my arms up and surrender." was  "I will poke my eyes out and surrender."
As young girls, my friend and I sang "Sweet Dreams are made of These" as "Sweet Dreams are made of Teeth".  That's what we thought we heard....perhaps becasue her father was a dentist.  We laugh to this day about it.
LOL - I read the post above about "Paradise City" and realized that I also sang it "take me down to the very last city..."  Ooops!

"The girl with colitis goes by."  

I have to wonder, if perhaps, the majority of people who identified this as common were not women who had read the Babysitters Club books when they were growing up, as I distinctly remember this mondegreen mentioned by Dawn in one of them.  

My other personal favorite was one of my friends from high school who swore the first line of Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl was "Hey there, amigo!"
In college, my soon to be husband and his friend sang AC/DC's "Dirty deeds and the Thunder Chief" (done dirt cheap!)
in "Light My Way" from U2, I thought the line was "when I was all messed up and I heard Oprah in my head"...turns out the line is "..and I heard opera in my head"
to angela from foley, al...I still thought it was cat! I guess I was wrong all this time! ha!
I had a friend who seriously thought the words to Pearl Jam's "Better Man" was "I can't find the butter man" instead of "I can't find a better man".  they argued with me for days over that and still sang it wrong after they found the right words
"Jeremy's smokin grass today" instead of "Jeremy spoke in class today".  Nothing like an Eddie Vedder mumble to help stear you in the wrong direction when it comes to lyrics:)
A friend in college used to sing The Four Tops "Bernadette" as "Burn to Death"
My son used to hear "Take it to the lemon", not 'take it to the limit" and my daughter thought it was " Do the funky lady"


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