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Every week, msnbc.com entertainment producers Gael Fashingbauer Cooper, Denise Hazlick, Paige Newman, Kurt Schlosser and Anna Chan weigh in on topics ranging from TV commercials to movie hype to the latest celebrity blunder. We're not ashamed to admit our love for bad TV or reveal what's on our iPods, and invite you to join the conversation via your comments.



Most misheard lyrics: Rockin' the catbox, with a bathroom on the right

Posted: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 5:00 AM by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper
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We've been discussing made-up and just plain bad lyrics, death songs, and more, but one topic that keeps cropping up is the lair of the misheard lyric (as in "wrapped up like a douche," discussed here). From the numerous versions of popular songs that exist only in our heads, you'd think we were all half-deaf.

The most popular ones are chronicled so well on great Web sites such as KissThisGuy.com, named for the famous misheard Hendrix lyric, which is really "kiss the sky." The site asks lyric submitters fun questions, such as how old they were when they found out they were wrong ("I'm WRONG?") and whether they think their lyric is better than the original ("Damn straight!") I also love AmIRight.com, a similar site.

San Francisco Chronicle columnist Jon Carroll, one of my favorite columnists writing today, refers to misheard lyrics as "Mondegreens." It comes from an old Scottish lyric, "they have slain the Earl of Murray, and laid him on the green," which was misheard as "they have slain the Earl of Murray, and Lady Mondegreen."

Carroll believes the most misheard lyric is "Gladly, the cross-eyed bear," as opposed to the real lyric, "Gladly, the cross I'd bear." Hmm. Funny, but that hymn's not in too many of our daily radio rotations.

But he admits that "There's a bathroom on the right," as misheard for CCR's "There's a bad moon on the rise," is a close second. Numerous readers have submitted "bathroom on the right" in our comments, despite admitting with embarrassment that, well, the song's title should perhaps have tipped them off.

Here are just a few of those other most-misheard lyrics, as compiled most unscientifically by me, poking around those sites:
• "The girl with colitis goes by." (Real lyric: "The girl with kaleidoscope eyes," Beatles)
• "Olive, the other reindeer." (Real lyric: "All of the other reindeer.")
• "The ants are my friends, they're blowing in the wind." (Real lyric: "The answer is blowing in the wind," Bob Dylan.)
• "There's a wino down the road." (Real lyric: "And as we wind on down the road," Led Zeppelin.)
• "In a glob of Velveeta, honey." (Real lyric: "In-A-Gadda Da Vida," a.k.a., "In the garden of Eden," Iron Butterfly.)

Here are some of the misheard lyrics that I confess I've gotten wrong all by myself:
• "How's about a date?" (Real lyric: Billy Idol's "Eyes without a face.")
• "It means so much to me, like a birthday, or a preview." (Real lyric: Duran Duran's "A birthday, or a pretty view," from "Rio.")
• "Hello, hello! I'm in a place called Oregon!" (Real lyric: U2's "Hello, hello! I'm at a place called Vertigo.")
• "Even Dallas games, people play." (Real lyric: "In the jealous games people play," Go-Gos "Our Lips Are Sealed.")
• "Sure as Kilimanjaro rises up like Memphis, above the Serengeti." (Real lyric: "Rises like Olympus," from Toto's "Africa.")
• "Go hippie, go hippie, go." (Real lyric: "Go ahead, be gone with it," from Justin Timberlake's "SexyBack.")

Here are some of the misheard lyrics that are so out there it's hard to believe anyone thought they were true. (Some of these gained fame from being used in commercials or TV shows.)
• "The sheep don't like it, rockin' the cat box." (Real lyric: "Shareef don't like it, rock the Casbah," The Clash.)
• "Pour some shook-up Ramen." (Real lyric: "Pour some sugar on me," Def Leppard.)
• "Hold me close, young Tony Danza." (Real lyric: "Hold me closer, tiny dancer," Elton John.)
• "Round John Virgin." (Real lyric: "Round yon virgin," from "Silent Night.")
• "Bald headed woman." ("More than a woman," Bee Gees.)

And here are five misheard lyrics from those sites that just made me crack up. Many of these are ones I've never heard before, but you can bet I'm singing the songs that way from now on.
• "Here we are now, in containers." (Real lyric: "Here we are now, entertain us," Nirvana.)
• "Lucy's in a fight, with Linus." (Real lyric: "Lucy in the sky with diamonds," Beatles.)
• "Who you gonna call? Those bastards!" (Real lyric: "Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!")
• "Desperado, you've been outright offensive, for so long now" (Real lyric: "You've been out riding fences," The Eagles.)
• "If you change your mind (Jackie Chan), I'm the first in line (Jackie Chan)." (Real lyric: "If you change your mind (take a chance)," from Abba.)

We can't possibly compete with KissThisGuy, AmIRight, and Jon Carroll, but bring out your best misheard lyrics and share them in the comments.

 

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My son used to think it was "taking care of biscuits" instead of "taking care of business"
Michelle, my belle, someday Monkey play piano song, play piano song . . . (Beatles, Michelle)

I want to be your pizza burning . . . (Rolling stones, Beast of Burden)

I can't sing along with the right words after a stand up comedian back in the 1980's did a bit with those two misheard lyrics.
"I'm not talkin' 'bout the linen" turned out to be "I'm not talkin' 'bout movin' in".  I never really understood why the guy was afraid to talk about sheets....
A friend of mine thought the lyrics to the song by Notorious B.I.G., "Big Poppa" were, "I love it when you call Mr. Pocketbook."  Instead of "I love it when you call me Big Poppa."  

John Fogerty deliberately put the "there's a bathroom on the right" in one stanza of his live lyrics on a recent album just because of it being misheard for so long.  I thought he was a good sport for doing it.
I was SO excited when I heard the song "Groovin'" because of the line "Life could be ecstasy, you, and me, and Leslie, groovin..."  I had always wanted to be one of those lucky girls that her name in an old song somewhere.  Imagine my frustration to find out (many MANY years later) that it was "You and me endlessly."  Bah.

As for others, much like Danny from Lubbock I thought Hurricanes were Raunchy.  And I didn't know you could get Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, but I was very enamored with Dirty Dee and the Thunder Chief.  And I always wondered what happened to that Secret Asian Man who had been given a number, but had his name taken away.
For years I was convinced that Huey Lewis was saying "and the elbow may be barely breathing" in 'The Heart of Rock and Roll'. When I learned the line was actually "the old boy may be barely breathing", I had a good laugh at myself for the longest time.
You mean it's "take your CAP and leave my sweater"?  I could swear he was telling her to take her CAT!
I though Bon Jovi's "Bad Medicine" was actually "Hard Dancin'".  That's right, "Your love is like HARD DANCIN', HARD DANCIN' is what I need whoa-whoa.  I was belting out those incorrect words on a long road-trip with friends and STILL havn't heard the end of it!
In one of Ellen DeGenerese's books she writes how she misheard "Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles as "Wipe in the Vaseline." I read it & thought she was nuts until I heard the song again- now that's what I hear!!
The sketch comedy show "The Vacant Lot" did a bit on Blinded by the Light years ago.  Very funny, and YouTube has it here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6U29S--wn8
In high school, my friend thought "Games people play in the middle of the night" (Alan Parson's project) was "Gay people play..."  She figured that made sense!  lol
I'm with Pablo on this.  Some of these supposedly misheard lyrics are just too ridiculous.  Nobody could really believe some of them.
It's not a misheard lyric per se, but it is one of those things that once you hear it you'll never hear the original song again without inserting it, "The hills are alive, and their eating children."
My 12 year old daughter was convinced that Fergie is singing "flopsy flopsy" in her song Glamorous - I beleive the real lyrics are "flossy flossy" (although neither one makes much sense)  :)  
I had a friend in 8th grade who thought the lyrics to Tainted Love by Softcell were, "Don't touch me please, i cannot stand the way you sneeze,"  instead of tease.  We all sneezed, sorry, teased her for awhile after that.  And I totally thought the Keith Urban lyric was take your cat and leave my sweater.  
When I was about 10 years old, and the song Everytime You Go Away by Hall and Oates came on the radio, I thought they were saying, "everytime you go away, you take a piece of meat with you."  (take a piece of 'me' with you).  My parents have never let me live that one down!
My daughter used to think the song lyrics "what's become of the broken hearted" were "what's become of the now retarded. It took me a long time to figure out what she was saying.
When I was a much younger and more imaginitve girl, I heard the song "Betty Davis eyes" and very sincerely thought the song said, "she's got Betty Davis THIGHS."  This made me wonder for years about just how fabulous Betty Davis' thighs must have been, and how I could get legs like that!  I found it a bit scandalous, too, thinking that they must be talking about something very dirty if they were singing about a girl's thighs but not the rest of her legs!  
My sister used to sing "Pay the rent, Colette." instead of "Little Red Corvette" whenever the Prince song came on the radio.  She's grown now, with daughters of her own, and they think that is the funniest thing in the world!
From "King of Pain," by The Police:

"There's a little black spot on the sun today (Bless my soul, I'll be late)"

instead of

"There's a little black spot on the sun today (That's my soul up there)"

I figured Sting was just making a "Through the Looking Glass" reference.
Blake singing on American Idol the Bon Jovi song...You give love a back pain!!!  My young daughter was belting it out like she knew!
"I Just Wanna Fly" from Sugar Ray sounds so much better if you sing "I Just Swallowed a Fly".
My daughter used to sing , O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, "the lights are on your branches" instead of "how lovely are  your branches".  
When I was a kid, I always thought Prince's "Little Red Corvette" was "Live in Corvette".  And Van Halen's "Panama" was saying "Animal".
I had a friend who swore the Knack sang "Rice-a-Roni" instead of "My Sharona". And my aunt always sang "Bringing in the Sheets" in church.
One of the better ones:
"hold my clothes and tie me down sir"

Tiny Dancer, Elton John

And I had a friend that thought the line in Jesus Christ, Superstar was:
"You'd have managed better if you'd hired a clown"
All right. So, I had a friend that I used to get a ride home from in high school who liked the artist Beck and would subject me to the song 'Loser' at top volume all the way home. I spent several years thinking the lyrics were "Sores on my genitals, I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me" and that it was a sick song about herpes. Needless to say, even once I learned the correct lyrics - the other version remained stuck in my head.
A friend in high school sang--I kid you not--"like the trembling heart of a cat at birth" instead of "like the trembling heart of a captive bird" from Roberta Flack's song "First Time Ever I Saw Your Face."  That one really cracked me up!
How about:
Bakin Carob Biscuts and workin on a pie  cook out ( Takin Care Of Business )
I Got Two chickens To Paralyze  Won't you pack a bag with leaves tonight ( Two Tickets To Paradise)
A few years ago we were in a store Christmas shopping when my then 8 year old son, started singing real loud "knock knock knockin on Heather's door" (knock knock knocking on Heaven's door)...So naturally, that's the way we sing it now :-)
There is a song by Third Day that starts "Your letter said you were leaving" but for years I heard it as "Lettuce head I believe in". I laughed when I finally looked up the real lyrics.
Sting -- "Love is Stronger than Justice"

Instead of, "Love is a big fat river and flood," I thought he was saying "love is a big fat river of blood."

LOL
I'm Seamus!  Seamus as a man can be...(like the Irish name)

For Shameless by Grath Brooks
My husband thought Falco's "Rock Me Amadeus" was "Eat me, I'm a danish."

LMAO
My cousin thought that "Message in a bottle" was "living in Novato".
ok..the best one ever has to be from my daughter when she was about 9. There was a commercial on the TV for a radio station and they were playing "Jack and Diane" by John Cougar -well, she was singing along and when I listened to what she was saying I totally cracked up! She was singing..."little dittie about Jackie Chan"!
Instead of ahhh ohhh warewolves of London my husband thinks it ahhh ohhh the warewolves are comin!
Oh my God. Kilimanjaro rises "like Olympus?!" I always thought it rose "like a leopard!!" What a disappointment.
I thought the opening line to "Brown Eyed Girl" (Hey, where did we go?) was "Hey there amigo". Still like it my way.
I too thought Keith Urban's lyrics were...take your cat and leave my sweater instead of take your cap and leave my sweater...a friend in high school once told me the sports anthem "Whoomp There It Is" was actually "Whoop That A**"...to this day I can't convince her otherwise.
gonna high for Emma chew fly / wind lust lost acorn hill / gonna high etc. / when you watch kook power fill

not exactly on point, but i believe these words are the code that reveals the fate of humanity
I thought until I was about ten that "life is butter's dream" instead of "life is but a dream..." in row your boat.
Ever since I was 3 I always wondered why anyone would sing about "A one horse, soap & slay".  It just didn't seem very Christmassy but I sang along anyway.  I was into my 20's before I saw the lyrics written & realized it was a "one horse open sleigh"
Wow, that was a pretty sad story, I am sorry but half of those "Fake" lyrics were pretty lame, Maybe when you listen to the song it might seem closer, but i think you need to check your sources, or your ears.
My younger brother used to sing along to the 1980's Simple Minds tune 'Alive and Kicking', only he thought the lyric was 'I like it kinky.'
My older brother Bobby had me believing the Jackson 5 song I'll be there was actually "obbybay." (Bobby in pig latin) I was 18 when I woke up with mondegreens.
I'm surprised no one mentioned "Reverend Blue Jeans"  -- I'm still not sure what that one really is.  I did see a couple of Elton John songs, and I remember a co-worker who really, really liked his new song "Betty Applejacks".  Me?  I didn't understand "Life in the Vaseline" or "Life in the Fast Lane" -- duh!  
"God damn, I Love You" is heard instead of what is supposed to be "God Damn All of you!" in the song "When Skin Turns Blue" by the death metal band Six Feet Under
Nine Inch Nails did a song called "Terrible Lies."  I had a friend who heard it as "Turn out the lights!"  I still laugh when I hear that song - the poor man has been yelling for years now for someone to turn out the light!


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