June 2008 - Posts
Fast-food is ubiquitous, and so are ads for it. We know the food is bad for us, but do the ads have to be equally terrible? Last year, one of the main contenders for our worst-ad award was a bizarre Wendy's commercial involving men in Wendy wigs out in the woods kicking trees. I guess the gist was supposed to be that you shouldn't follow the crowd when choosing your junk food, but what viewers mostly took away from it was that men look really stupid in Wendy wigs. This year, we have some new fast-food ads to chew over. Here are just a few.
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I'll likely be giving up Multi-link Monday as we transition to a group blog. It may not be a regular weekly thing, but I'll still throw in a good time-waster link or two now and then.
For now, how about an all-quiz edition?
• Which superhero are you? I'm Superman. Hmm. I guess I should be flattered, but I was rooting for Wonder Woman.
• Which supervillain are you? I'm Dr. Doom, followed closely by Lex Luthor. Awesome.
• Can you
name all these "Simpsons" characters? Just type...they don't need to be in the order the photos are shown. And you don't always need full names. How could I forget the Simpsons family doctor's name? I really wanted to type "Cliff Huxtable." (If you want more quizzes like this, you've got plenty to choose from
on this list, including Johnny Depp movies, "Star Trek" characters and more.)
• While we're on a "Simpsons" kick: Troy McClure film, or actual movie?
• Can you identify these candy bars from cross-section photographs? (Thanks to Paige for that link.) Here's the original candy bar quiz, too, from my own Minnesota Science Museum. I am ashamed at how well I did on these two.
See a certain celebrity’s name pop up in the news and you just know it’s for nothing good. Courtney Love used to be the perfect example. Then it was Pete Doherty. For a long period of time it was Britney Spears. Now it’s Amy Winehouse. There’s no question the woman is talented, but will she ever get to share any more of her talents, or will she self-destruct first?
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OK, I admit that I no longer see movies in the theater as often as I used to (bills -- and a cute-shoe addiction -- eat up a lot of what used to be my "fun" money). I go to the movies maybe two or three times a year. But there are a few actors who can usually compel me to shell out $10 a ticket -- or at least time my Netflix returns to make sure I get their latest DVD right on its release date.
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There are two groups of people in this world who take delight in watching people fall down. One group is probably teenage boys. The other is Japanese television audiences. I don't belong to either of these groups, but I might as well because when it comes to moving pictures of people, nothing's better than when those people leave their feet.
I've spent a good deal of time on the Internet (YouTube specifically) watching videos of people accidentally slipping and tripping. I've laughed at people falling off treadmills and others crashing hard on buttered floors. I also laugh pretty hard every time I come across "Most Extreme Elimination Challenge" on cable, which basically answers the question, "What would happen if that guy lost his balance while jumping over that moving thing 8 feet above that muddy water?" Sadistic? Perhaps. Hilarious? Indeed.
Tuesday night ABC brought "Wipeout" to American audiences and for an hour I laughed while 24 mostly talentless people humiliated themselves on national TV (kind of like "American Idol" only with a lot of slippery water hazards). For my money, the entire hour could have been filled with the obstacle where contestants jump from a stable platform onto a big, bouncy ball suspended above water -- Boing! Splash! Repeat.
Hosts John Henson (E!'s "Talk Soup") and John Anderson (ESPN's "Sportscenter") managed to come up with enough nicknames for those involved to keep my wife laughing. I like that there's no sappy backstory to the contestants. It's pretty much all action. We know their names, what they do for a living and what they look like before, during and after a nasty fall. What else is there?
Mike Myers’ latest comedy, “The Love Guru,” was a train wreck with both critics and fans. It came in fourth at the box office with a mere $14 million. Deadline Hollywood Daily’s Nikki Finke reported that an unnamed studio executive summed up the situation with the one-syllable, “Ugh.”
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Everyone’s writing about George Carlin’s famous “Seven Dirty Words” routine as we mourn him. I heard that routine again on satellite radio this morning, and yes, it had me laughing. But I don’t want to forget that Carlin could also set a room of nuns and prudish grandmas to laughing with humor that you COULD say on television.
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The cliches are all ringing true. One man's trash is another's treasure. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The commercial you find hilarious might be one that I think is just horrible.
I was reminded of this last week when I listed the Mr. Bill commercial among my favorites. I think maybe two readers posted that they agreed with me, whereas at least a dozen of you hate, hate, hated it.
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The commercial contest is continuing, but in case you're already sick of griping about that one weird pregnancy-test ad, here's a quick Multi-link Monday
ENGLISH NEVER SOUNDED SO PRETTY
You've seen the sites that translate words into Swedish Chef, or pig Latin, or jive speak. But this is a new one on me. Type something on this site and it will translate whatever you typed into nightingale. No, really. Try it.
GETTING CARDED
I've had business cards in some form or another since I was 22, and the coolest one I ever had was when someone decided to print the backside of my cards in dark blue. Woo, hold me back! But this site shows some truly amazing business cards, including one that folds out into a car, and another that's a balloon. Noted hacker Kevin Mitnick's card is here, and it's made of metal with lockpicks stamped into it.
COLOR MY WORLD
This link isn't for everybody. It doesn't do anything or let you do anything, and it's a little awkward to read. Some of it's not even in English. But if, like me, you find yourself pondering color names on crayons and paint swatches, you might get a kick out of this wonderful list of names for colors. That's not pink, it's angel wing! (Via Metafilter.)
DON'T BE SOUR
Certain people in my office who shall remain nameless enjoy shooting soft foam darts at other certain people in my office. Those certain persons can only hope that other certain people never discover this pickle-pult, which would allow them to shoot terrified-looking plastic pickles at other certain people. Cowabunga!
GRAPH-O-MATIC
I think I've linked to Graph Jam before, but it's still hilarious. The site graphs song lyrics in an inventive way that you kind of have to see to believe. My current favorite: Money for Nothing.
In the 1950s, CBS wouldn't even let Lucille Ball be described as "pregnant" on "I Love Lucy." Although the network eventually broke the taboo of showing pregnant women on television, the episode that started it all had to be called "Lucy is Enciente." (Don't miss our fun feature on the celeb-baby photo craze and how it's developed.)
Most of us can agree that the original network attirude was completely nuts. If your sensibilities are so dainty as to be offended by the sight of a pregnant woman, you need to reside in a hermit's cave somewhere.
But tuning in to a few modern commercials may make a sensible person long for a little MORE delicacy.
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Can it be? Are there enough TV commercials out there that we actually like to merit a discussion? It's so easy to slam the bad ads, but harder to remember the few good ones.
We've already praised the Discovery Channel ad (but I keep mentioning it, because it gives me an excuse to go watch it again). And it epitomizes so much of what we like about any good ad. Ads can be good for many reasons -- some are funny, some beautiful, some educational, some make you say "aww." But rarely or never will a good ad gross you out, or make you feel worse about the world, or make you feel smug or cynical.
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You've been leaving so many great comments on our TV commercial contest that I'm afraid some of them will get lost in the crush. Here are a few of my favorites from the post on Ads we hate.
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Taking a one-day break from the TV commercial contest for another Multi-link Monday. Remember, you, too, can suggest links for Monday inclusion. Just post them in the comments.
NAME THAT FONT
Well, I had to guess on every one of these and got maybe one correct. But because there is a whole world out there of people who really know their computer typography, I present: Name that font!
WRITERS IN PICTURES
Photographer Susana Raab has some gorgeous images on her site. Click on "A Sense of Place" in the right margin to see photos of the homes of William Faulkner, Flannery O'Connor, and, my favorite, Eudora Welty. Just lovely.
'SIMPSONS' HONORS THE SCREEN
"The Simpsons" is chock-full of neat pop-culture references, from movies to songs to other TV shows. And the writers usually get it right, too. This page, showing "Simpsons" scenes right next to still photos of the films they were parodying, shows just how right they get it.
WEB CAM BEAUTY
Gas prices making you rethink that summer driving trip? This page soothes the pain be presenting live Web cams from the National Park Service. Especially breathtaking: Mount Rainier National Park, the monuments of Washington D.C., and Mammoth Cave National Park.
READER LINK: EX-BOYFRIEND JEWELRY
Reader Cherie writes: "I'm not sure if you have seen this site but it's a little amusing: Ex Boyfriend Jewelry.com. You can go and check out all kinds of jewelry (rings, necklaces, earrings, etc.) that were all gifts from ex-boyfriends/husbands. If you click specific jewelry, you can read the backstory of why the girl received the jewelry and what their creep boyfriend/hubby did to make them want to sell it. Enjoy -- I did."
500+ comments in two days. I'd say we all have a lot of stored-up hostility about the TV commercials we've been seeing lately (and, to be fair, some praise...especially for the Discovery Channel's "Boom-di-ada" promo).
But let's start with those ads you hate, hate, hate. I can't possibly get to all of them (check the comments for more), but here are a few that kept coming up. Oof, are they bad.
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I'm hearing a rumor that it's summer, though you couldn't tell it from the temperatures where I am (while people all over the nation are melting, we here in Seattle are putting on sweaters).
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Monday, Monday...can't trust that day. But you can always trust Multi-link Monday to be there for you with its quintet of random time-wasters. Well, except for the Mondays that I'm on vacation. Or that are holidays. Or that I forget. Maybe you can't trust Multi-link Monday, either.
BID ON COSBY'S SWEATERS
We've all joked about them whenever we see an especially colorful, variegated sweater: That's a Cosby sweater! As Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable on "The Cosby Show" in the 1980s, Bill Cosby wore the brightest, most artificial looking tops on the block. Now three of them (just three? the man must have had hundreds!) are up for bid online. Of course, they START at $5,000, which is too rich for my blood. Now maybe if they threw in Theo's Gordon Gartrell shirt (YouTube link) as copied by hapless sister Denise...
TOPS IN TV SITCOMS
Speaking of "The Cosby Show": This list features one man's Top 10 sitcoms (since 1980). Some great shows on the list, but I'd yank "Malcolm" for "My Name Is Earl." (Typical Earl line: "We got to Hendersonville late because Randy turned the directions into a paper airplane to see if it would lift the car off the ground. It didn't and we lost the directions.")
KITT IS MY CO-PILOT
Yes, NBC is a joint owner of msnbc.com. But even if they weren't, I would still link to this slate of 2008 election buttons featuring NBC shows. They're supposed to encourage Emmy voters. I am not one of those, but hey, the buttons are out of stock anyway. Hmmph. Baldwin-Fey, all the way! (Thanks to Andy for the link!)
SKITTLES VODKA
Remember when Homer Simpson invented SkittleBrau (in this episode)? And then people actually made it, because people are goofy? The Russians now have SkittlesVodka. The colors! The colors!
NOT ALWAYS RIGHT
As anyone who works or has worked in a customer-service job can tell you, customers are NOT always right, despite what your too-cheery shift manager may claim. Workers who need to vent share their stories at Not Always Right.com, and oh, are they funny. Funny only because they didn't happen to you, that is. (Warning: Some offensive situations, and some profanity.)
One of my co-workers wanted a good old scary movie last weekend. So she rented this.
Whoops. She managed to confuse "scary" with "gory," and was rather distraught. (Although Roger Ebert gave the film three out of four stars, which he later had to defend to angry readers.)
The mistake started those of us in the office talking about our favorite scary films that don't load on the blood. They don't need to, after all. The most frightening thing in any movie is the monster you never see. Your own mind can invent things that are much more horrifying than anything a special-effects department can dream up. (This was proven for me in "Cloverfield" -- I liked the movie, but the monster was much scarier when it was just a roar and thumping footprints.)
I admit it, I'm a scary-movie fan. And I'm not above the occasional gore...love almost all zombie movies. I sometimes feel as if the "horror" section of the video store should be divided into two parts:"slasher" and "scary," or maybe "blood" and "no blood."
Some of my favorite films that would fit in the "scary but not gory" category would include:
"The Shining"
Yes, there's some blood, but the success of this movie is its utterly creepy feel: the snowed-in hotel, the rooms holding long-dead secrets. Oh, and Jack Nicholson's manic portrayal, and Stephen King's writing.
"John Carpenter's The Thing"
Like "The Shining," another spooky, snowy setting that lends itself perfectly to the rising dread. A classic. (NOTE: OK, yes, this movie qualifies as gory. But I don't know...I couldn't leave it off because there's so much scare that doesn't involve the gore. So sue me.)
"The Others"
I didn't expect to like this 2001 film, with Nicole Kidman as a protective yet fragile mother, as much as I did. I guessed the twist partway through, but that didn't stop me from enjoying the scares.
"The Ring" and "The Grudge"
You may have seen the American versions, but rent the original Japanese films for a double dose of scary. The plot of "The Ring, and that creepy phone call whisper, "seven days," stuck with me long after the movie ended.
"Aliens"
I know, I know, this 1986 classic is a science fiction film, not strictly horror. But I have to include it because no scene scares me more than the one where Ripley is watching what the Marines are seeing via their helmet cameras, and slowly begins to realize they are all doomed. When this one reruns on cable, I can't stop watching.
What movies scared you, and didn't need a bucketload of blood to do it? Let's discuss in the comments.
Yesterrday, Andy Dehnart previewed the return of "The Mole" to ABC, and asked the question: Can the return of this cult favorite live up to fans' good memories?
I just finished watching the first episode, and my answer to that question is simple: YES. I loved the original "Mole," and I think this new version has found the magic again. (Warning: possible spoilers for the premiere follow.)
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What is so rare as a Monday in June? It may be beautiful outside, but if you're stuck at a desk, you need some Multi-link Monday time-wasters. Here go!
REALLY BAD TATTOOS
Oh, it's the one of a bald Britney Spears that gets to me. Who would ever regret having that permanently etched into your skin? How many of these tats were the result of lost bets, do you think?
WORLD TOUR
Remember the fun online quiz where you had to type in as many states as you can remember in a limited time? Here's another one where you need to type in as many country names as you know in just five minutes. (I got a pathetic 56...hint, think short names, and go by continent if you can.) The timer starts counting down immediately, so be ready when you click the link. GO!
PORTION DISTORTION
You have to see these photos. They compare normal food portions from years ago to the same foods in the giganto portions we serve today. My favorite is the pop photo ("soda," to some of you), since in the old days, we never would have thought of drinking a 20-ounce serving of pop IN THE SAME DAY!
A BRIDGE TOO FAR
Remember in August, when we all looked on in horror at the photos from the 35W bridge collapse in my hometown of Minneapolis? That bridge is quickly being rebuilt, and you can watch the construction via Web cam.
STUFF I THOUGHT WHEN I WAS A KID...
It's Monday. You need a laugh. (Via Metafilter.)
