Carlin's clean humor was also hilarious

Posted: Monday, June 23, 2008 1:34 PM by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper
Filed Under: Tributes

Everyone’s writing about George Carlin’s famous “Seven Dirty Words” routine as we mourn him. I heard that routine again on satellite radio this morning, and yes, it had me laughing. But I don’t want to forget that Carlin could also set a room of nuns and prudish grandmas to laughing with humor that you COULD say on television. (Carlin quotes paraphrased—just assume I got the gist right but he was much funnier.)

He once suggested an invention: Kleenex with targets printed on them! You could blow  your nose and then brag to your pal, “Hey, Pete, look! I got an 85!” (I still think this would be a smart design.)

He had another bit about sentences you didn’t want to hear people say (your doctor: “You’ll live another 20-30 years, but you’ll be constantly bleeding from both eyes.”) or sentences that no one would ever think to say (“Dad, you don’t drink enough.”)

He had a hilarious routine about “stuff,” saying that your house was really just a place for your stuff, and how difficult it was to go on vacation and stay in a room full of someone else’s stuff. You get offended: Their stuff is already here! There’s no place for MY stuff.

But my favorite routine has to be Carlin’s amazingly accurate “Football vs. baseball.” Football, he points out, has helmets, gridirons, penalties, sudden death! Baseball has caps, diamonds, errors, and extra innings. Football is a mini-war, with the quarterback its field general leading an aerial assault on the other team. Baseball’s purpose, on the other hand, is simply to get home and be safe.

Carlin’s home and safe now, bless him. Share your favorite memories in the comments.

EMAIL THIS