Bad-idea cinema: 'Indiana Jones 5'?
Posted: Tuesday, August 05, 2008 6:20 AM by Paige Newman
Filed Under:
Movies
Sometimes Hollywood can seem like a bad-idea factory, endlessly pumping out retreads, remakes and generally lame concepts. And when I happen across one of these bad ideas, my only recourse is the deep sigh. Here are a few items that have made me sigh lately:
(Spoiler alert! Beware of Batman item below if you haven't seen "The Dark Knight yet)
George Lucas wants to make ‘Indiana Jones 5’
AP |
Raise your hand if you don't want another "Indiana Jones" sequel.
|
It’s really time for Lucas to move on. The man just can’t leave his films or their legacies alone. I’m shocked we haven’t been inflicted with a CGI-update of “American Graffiti” in which the cars can fly. It’s not that “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” was a bad film, but it just felt completely unnecessary. Luckily,
Spielberg is voicing some reluctance about getting involved in yet another sequel. And speaking of unnecessary Lucas projects – does the world really need the animated “Clone Wars” movie or TV series that are headed our way? Move on, George. You’ll never find a new idea to have a relationship with, unless you let the old ones go.
Howard Stern gets into the film biz
Why, oh,
why can’t Hollywood leave ‘Rock N Roll High School alone? Howard Stern has decided to produce a new version of this film with Alex Winter of “Bill & Ted” fame directing. What current band could actually stand in for the Ramones? And what are the chances of the film retaining its druggy, surreal tone? Stern has more in store for unsuspecting theater-goers: A remake of “Porky’s.” What’s next --a remake of the Tom Cruise classic “Losin’ It”? Talk about unnecessary.
Baffling Batman sequel rumors
Not only is there talk that Philip Seymour Hoffman and Johnny Depp are being considered for the Penguin and Riddler, respectively -- now, there’s the crazy rumor that Maggie Gyllenhaal’s Rachel didn’t die, and she will be back as Catwoman. Whaaaaa? Yes, Heath Ledger did an amazing job as the Joker, but that doesn’t mean Hoffman or Depp should try to follow in his footsteps. And why would the uber-serious Nolan go for a character as comical as the Penguin? Depp could have an even more dicey time — he can either try to top Ledger in gravitas or do a camp version of the Riddler (somewhat like his Willy Wonka) that would have no place in Nolan’s bat-universe. As for Gyllenhaal being alive and turning into Catwoman — it just seems like a cheat that Nolan wouldn’t stoop to.
Oh, there are many more items that have made me sigh: Darren Aronofsky’s update on “Robocop” that’s in the works, the potential remake of the awful-to-begin with “Red Dawn,” Mike Myers in “Austin Powers 4,” Tim Burton’s big-screen version of “Alice and Wonderland” (with Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter), Martin Campbell’s remake of Hitchcock’s “The Birds,” the remake of the ‘80s teen classic “Valley Girl” (with Nic Cage’s triangle of chest hair), and many, many more. Think any of these are great ideas? Or maybe you’ve heard a rumor that’s made you sigh? Share your thoughts.
