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Every week, msnbc.com entertainment producers Gael Fashingbauer Cooper, Denise Hazlick, Paige Newman, Kurt Schlosser and Anna Chan weigh in on topics ranging from TV commercials to movie hype to the latest celebrity blunder. We're not ashamed to admit our love for bad TV or reveal what's on our iPods, and invite you to join the conversation via your comments.



Did I see that movie? No, I have a kid

Posted: Wednesday, September 10, 2008 6:25 AM by Kurt Schlosser
Filed Under: , , ,

A year and a half ago, as the birth of my first and only son was bearing down on me, I kept hearing from know-it-all friends how much my life was about to change. "You'll never do that again," they'd say about any of the number of random activities I considered entertaining.

Eighteen months into parenthood, I can't say that all of those know-it-alls were exactly right, but I must admit that what I find time for in the world of entertainment has been drastically altered.


Henry: Too early for Radiohead?

I certainly love my son, Henry, more than I miss every TV show, movie, live concert, YouTube video or magazine article that I've not been entertained by recently. I like to think he's taught me more about myself and about pure joy than say, Angelina Jolie ever could. (Did I just type that?) But I can't help but wish there was more time in the day -- after working, playing, feeding and bathing -- to make a dent in my DVR lineup. A new episode of "The Daily Show" is already half a news cycle behind current events, try watching five in one night, a week late.

The fact that I still run in a circle of friends mostly dominated by non-parents keeps driving home the point that when people aren't blabbing about the presidential race, many like to blab about entertainment. It took my wife and I weeks to finally get the stars to align so we weren't the absolute last people in North America to see the new Batman movie. Now, everyone is done talking about Heath Ledger. I'm the only Joker left.

It feels like the last live concert I saw was U2 on their Joshua Tree tour. I was already starting to scale back my intake of late nights and loud music before my wife's belly became a baby bump, but I do miss the ability to pick up the weekly paper and find a show and leave the house in a moment's notice. Watching Henry bang on his little plastic piano is touching and funny and all, but ... well, he's a lousy musician.

I could go on and make you all think I'm a horrible and ungrateful new dad (ever try to surf the Internet mindlessly for more than five minutes but the rattle toy thing you gave your kid was only a two-minute distraction?). In reality, I know watching my son grow and change is better than watching characters grow and change on TV. And I know that as he gets older and begins to understand that I have great taste, we'll bond over music and movies and everything else.

In the meantime, anybody want to babysit all week so I can find out what this "Mad Men" show is all about?

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Comments

My wife and I have been married for 14 years now.  I'm 36, she's 42.  We're child-free (by choice), and couldn't be happier for it.  In fact, I had a vascectomy when I was 25.  As such, we enjoy the freedom to do what we want, when we want, and aren't beholden to the needs of children.

We chose not to have kids because we're both very self-centered, and have quick tempers.  We don't ever want to subject a child to the kind of environment we would inevitably create for it.

I will grant that, for anyone to choose to become a parent is an incredibly admorable decision, and I commend anyone who takes that step in their life.  It's just not the kind of responsibility that either my wife or I have ever wanted to take on ourselves.

To the author of the article, I offer congratulations, and my most heart-felt sympathy (grin).

Good luck.

Matthew Hutchinson, Shawnee, KS (Sent Wednesday, September 10, 2008 3:50 PM)

hmmm reading thru the posts to find where ANYONE said their kids were not important.  I think the point of the discussion is that once you have children, your life changes, 110% for the better.  Of course Survivor is not more important than my kids, but every now and then, what's wrong with kicking back, and getting a few moments to yourself.  Jeeeeeez zippy, calm down.  

marialm in IA (Sent Wednesday, September 10, 2008 3:56 PM)

Strange how all of this is quite different from when we were children.  I recall my parents governing the tv and the children having to watch the evening news or the game show that they were watching; not the opposite.  I think that our intentions to give our children things and expose them to wholesome tv has left us with the short end of the remote.  I wonder what would happen if our kids didn't watch our shows and had to watch what they adults were? Perhaps go play in their rooms or get creative; that was our option.

Vanessa,Columbus IN (Sent Wednesday, September 10, 2008 4:18 PM)

My "kids" are now adults and believe me I would give anything to sit and watch "Frosty the Snowman"etc. with them again.  I think every new parent is warn-out and would love some "me" time....but believe me the next 18 years will fly by and you will find sitting in front of the tube by yourself in no fun.  Love them and enjoy every minute while you can.

Alice, Ohio (Sent Wednesday, September 10, 2008 4:19 PM)

The lady from Merced said to "Stop and think about the time your folks spent with you....."

Ummm, really not that much.  normal childhood, but back then, parents were not expected to revolve their entire lives around entertaining children.  We were sent outside to play A LOT.  We were told to read books.  My mom had a few shows she watched (I know she watched "All My Children" and I seem to remember "Dialing for Dollars" or something like that.  She spent most of her time making sure the house was spotless and cooking homemade meals everynight.  My dad spent most of his time when he was home parked in his chair watching TV (and exposing me, at a very young age to horror movies, which has given me some life long fears).

I'm not complaining about my parents, I didn't need them to entertain me 7 days a week.  We are under so much pressure to view children as precious wonders and to spend 100% of our spare time catering to them, that children these days don't seem to be able to think on their own.  

My kids watch very little television. I watch very little television, but I miss it.  Does that make me a bad parent to miss television?  Does it make you a bad husband to look at Naomi Watts and think she's pretty?  Are you a bad wife because you use condensed soup in a casserole instead of making it from scratch?  Are you a bad parent because while you enjoy reading a bedtime story to your son, you are happy your Tivo is recording Lost so you can watch it later?

Stop putting people under all this pressure to be perfect.  That's what destroyed Andrea Yates.

Toni, California (Sent Wednesday, September 10, 2008 4:20 PM)

Poor kid, being forced to listen to Radiohead.

Josh, Allentown, PA (Sent Wednesday, September 10, 2008 5:08 PM)

We are in the same situation (with a 10 month old and 2 year old). Our solution - Netflix. Yes, we are now lame 30-somethings who sit around almost every night and watch movies, but at least we've seen some movies which is more than I can say for some of our equally lame "new parent" friends.

A.L., Bend, OR (Sent Wednesday, September 10, 2008 5:08 PM)

I actually got rid of cable television. No temptation for my son or for me now.

Kate, Philadelphia, PA (Sent Wednesday, September 10, 2008 5:22 PM)

It's never too early for Radiohead. I've been playing it for my 6 month old since he was still growing in my wife's belly. Now he's soothed by one of the only bands that still makes remarkable music.

While it may make him a weirdo kid in kindergarten, his ability to think in an abstract manner will help him separate from the sure-to-be homogonized classmates he'll have in 10th grade.


Joe Putanm (Sent Wednesday, September 10, 2008 5:33 PM)

You hear people say all the time "They grow up so fast.  Enjoy it while you can."  I try to take this to heart and really enjoy and savor the time I spend w/ my 3yr old daughter.  I'll have time to watch anything I want when I'm older.  For now, I just try to soak in all the time I have with her b/c I know they're right...time will fly and I'll be missing these days one day.

Leslie, Sacramento, CA (Sent Wednesday, September 10, 2008 7:28 PM)

Maybe you'll see me as a bad parent, but I don't censor my children. I love CSI and I watch it if I get a chance, after cooking dinner, playing with kids and kissing my husband hello, My 3 year old and my 1 year old are awake and in the room while its on, they have no interest in it and so they just play with their toys. I have sat my 3 year old down and explained in words she could understand that there are people who do bad things nd hurt people, but there are also good people who put the bad people in time out. I do miss movies though. You know how hard it is to keep to children quiet adn still for 2 hours straight?

K. Berg, Seattle (Sent Wednesday, September 10, 2008 8:39 PM)



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