Rename the show 'Desperate Husbands'
Posted: Monday, January 12, 2009 6:00 AM by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper
Filed Under:
TV
I still watch "Desperate Housewives," but I have a confession to make. I dislike most of the housewives. I know, if they didn't get caught up in big schemes, we wouldn't have a show. But it's the men on this show who are so much more likable. I'd rename it "Desperate Husbands."
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The "Housewives" are lucky to have their husbands.
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Some viewers adore Susan (Teri Hatcher), but she's klutzy, immature, and wants the world to revolve around her. How daughter Julie turned out normally is mind-boggling -- after all, she was raised by a mom who, when she learned Julie's boyfriend might propose, intentionally spoiled the surprise because she didn't like the guy.
Meanwhile, plumber Mike (they're broken up, but that won't last) and hunky painter Jackson, who seem relatively sane, keep pursuing Susan even when she pulls stupid stunts and even risks her health. (Remember the early episode where she set out to hike a mountain to try and find Mike when he was camping and had to be rescued?) To me, Susan exemplifies the embarrassing stereotype of the dim woman who must be coddled and saved by her menfolk since she's pretty, but just not that bright.
Lynette (Felicity Huffman) horrifies me. It's a wonder she hasn't driven sweet Tom, who is one of the most likable characters on the whole show, away by now. Yes, she wants to protect her children, but her methods are outrageous. Recently, she took her and Tom's life savings and paid off son Porter's girlfriend to get her to leave town -- not telling Tom or Porter, of course. Yes, that ended well.
Bree (Marcia Cross) and Gaby (Eva Longoria) bother me less, but they're still connivers. Bree's first husband, Rex, died believing that his wife poisoned him -- and forgave her on his deathbed. New husband Orson has his own problems, but as almost son-in-law Alex points out, she's quick to deride and emasculate Orson whenever possible. (She apologized for that Sunday night, but we'll see if it lasts.)
Gaby and Carlos have, to me, the strongest marriage. Gaby's schemes are more along the Lucille Ball lines -- dumb sometimes, but usually harmless. Carlos was given a really disgusting plotline early on, when he replaced Gaby's birth-control pills in order to get her pregnant against her will. That really felt untrue to his character, and since then, he's proven to be a loving husband and father. He understands Gaby's flaws and foibles, and he loves her anyway.
They've lost a lot recently -- money, jobs, Gaby fears she's lost her looks, and yet they stay together. Carlos told Gaby, "We have a home, each other, work that supports us, and two beautiful little girls who love us more than ice cream. I've never been happier in my life." Kudos to actor Ricardo Antonio Chavira for making those words absolutely believable.
Share your thoughts about "Desperate Housewives" -- and the "Desperate Husbands" -- in the comments. Who's the best-suited couple? Who's got the best husband? And why are the women all so petty while their menfolk so saintly?
