Who should go 'Dancing'? Come on, Cher!
Posted: Monday, March 09, 2009 6:00 AM by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper
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TV
The "Dancing With the Stars" producers must be hitting the headache medicines something fierce these days. With less than a week before their show's premiere, ABC announced that not one, but TWO contestants, Nancy O'Dell and Jewel, were dropping out.
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Cher's used to the outlandish, fringe-filled costumes favored by 'Dancing With the Stars.'
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The Jewel news was expected, as her injury had been known for some time. I'm sure the show was looking forward to playing off some marital competition fun, as both Jewel and her husband, rodeo champ Ty Murray, had been planning to dance. (Murray still is, as far as we know.)
There's a rumor that Holly Madison, best known as one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends on "Girls Next Door," might fill in for Jewel. And now we're hearing that jilted "Bachelor" fiancee Melissa Rycroft could fill O'Dell's shoes.
But pretend we never heard those rumors. Who would you like to see step into O'Dell's and Jewel's dancing shoes? I'm assuming they have to be women to pair up with stranded partners Tony Dovolani and Dmitry Chaplin (of "So You Think You Can Dance," which has kind of become the training ground for "Dancing's" pros.).
Limiting the choices to women means that the two most infamous dancers on the show, Tucker "I'll just sit here on this chair" Carlson, and Master "I don't really have to move my feet, do I?" P are unlikely to get the call.
Here are a few names I'll throw out to get the ideas flowing.
Hey, if 82-year-old Cloris Leachman could do it (meaning Jewel and Nancy apparently do not have the endurance of an octogenarian between them), why not her "Facts of Life" predecessor Charlotte Rae, also 82? Come on, Mrs. G!
Put the "Stars" back into the title by casting a graceful woman who began her career as the Hotpoint dancing elf, the legendary Mary Tyler Moore!
If the show wants a single-named singer to replace Jewel, no one can wear fringe better than Cher. And if her days with Sonny are any indication, she can toss back insults at the judges with the best of them.
Athletes always do well on the show, and gymnast Shawn Johnson will likely shine this season. But remember volleyballer Misty May-Treanor, who had to drop out last fall? It's been five months -- maybe her Olympian training has healed that Achilles tendon by now.
And finally, if she can dance at the Grammys with a nine-month pregnant belly swinging freely, surely rapper M.I.A. can get out there and shimmy even though her baby (who is NOT named Ickitt) is just a month old.
OK, I'm having fun. Kind of. Suggest your own "Dancing" replacements in the comments, and we'll see on tonight's show how close we all are.
