'American Idol' needs a 'South Park' Song Night
Posted: Tuesday, March 17, 2009 6:00 AM by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper
Filed Under:
TV
It sounded great on paper: "American Idol" would have a Michael Jackson night! After all, MJ has approximately eight million hits, some peppy and upbeat, some slower and more ballady. The Jackson catalog offers choices from different decades, and even some Jackson 5 oldies. And whatever you think of the singer himself, the best Michael Jackson songs always got the audience up and dancing.
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Let the "Idols" have a crack at songs from Cartman and the "South Park" crew. What would Brian Boitano do?
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But leave it to "Idol" to turn what sounded like a great theme night into drudgery. Whatever possessed Megan Corkrey to choose "Rockin' Robin," a song from 1958? (It was a hit for a very young Jackson in 1972.) She sounded like a roller-skating waitress at a 1950s-themed diner, especially when she added the "Caw! Caw!" bird noises at the end.
And while there were a few familiar and fun songs ("PYT," "Black or White"), some of the other songs were just boring and unfamiliar. The Jackson 5's "Never Can Say Goodbye"? "Keep the Faith"? (Simon even told Scott MacIntyre" "I hated the song ... because nobody knows it and there are millions of Michael Jackson songs.")
So if Michael Jackson night turned into a debacle, what theme will work on this show? You know they'll resurrect past themes, such as "pick a song from the year you were born," but isn't it time for something fresh?
I've always wanted a Smiths/Morrissey night. Make everyone, not just Allison Iraheta and Adam Lambert, rock the goth look. I'm kidding, kind of, but I'd love to hear one of them tackle "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" or "Cemetry Gates."
How about a we-know-you-can't-sing-this-song night? When Anoop Desai tackled Michael Jackson's "Beat It!" last week, the judges dogged Anoop Dog for just attempting that Michael Jackson classic. And very few singers who pick a Whitney Houston tune get through it without someone pointing out that no one can hit the big notes like Whitney. So make a list of those untouchable songs and let the Idols have a whack at them.
"South Park" song night. Yeah, the censors would have to working overtime for some of the songs ("Kyle's Mom..."), but really, "Blame Canada" was performed at the Oscars, with just two bleeps ("All that hockey hullaballoo, and that b---- Anne Murray, too.") What WOULD Brian Boitano do?
One-Hit Wonder Night. Remind the "Idols" that not all of them will become Carrie Underwood. Some may become Bo Bice. Or Dexy's Midnight Runners. Come on, Eileen!
Jukebox of Cheese Night. Hasn't someone already done "MacArthur Park" on this show? If not, it's about time for that cake to get left out in the rain. We even have a list of five cheesy love songs to get them started.
TV Theme Song Night. No, we don't mean real rock songs that are used for TV themes...not that Who song from "CSI." We mean the ones that were written just for the shows. Here's the story, of a show named "Idol."
Suggest theme nights you'd like to see on "American Idol," both serious and not-so-much, in the comments.
