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Every week, msnbc.com entertainment producers Gael Fashingbauer Cooper, Denise Hazlick, Paige Newman, Kurt Schlosser and Anna Chan weigh in on topics ranging from TV commercials to movie hype to the latest celebrity blunder. We're not ashamed to admit our love for bad TV or reveal what's on our iPods, and invite you to join the conversation via your comments.



TV commercials that make you go hmm ...

Posted: Thursday, August 20, 2009 6:00 AM by Gael Fashingbauer Cooper
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We've discussed song lyrics that just don't make any sense, but what about commercials that are equally confusing?

A good commercial is like a mini-movie, with characters, a plot and a storyline that at least makes a tiny bit of sense. But some commercials are like a really terrible B-movie that only runs late at night in between infomercials. In other words, they are completely insane.


What? Don't you often sit outside in a bathtub next to your spouse?

We have to start with Cialis. Yes, we've discussed ads that really should be adults-only already, but the product's purpose aside, what is up with the couple sitting outside in separate bathtubs? Are they at their home? Do they regularly bathe outside at the same time in matching claw-foot tubs? Are they at some kind of weird B&B where instead of relaxing in the sun on a lounge chair, everyone gets their own clawfoot tub? Or did the ad-campaign manager just stare at a blank page and decide there was no way to explain what this product does without getting graphic, finally throwing up his hands and saying "just stick them in tubs, then! They're naked, but not touching!"

Another ad series that brings up a bunch of questions for me is the Free Credit Report campaign. Yes, we've discussed in the past how it isn't free, for one thing. But start dissecting the plots of the ads and you'll get completely lost. First off, the guy marries his dream girl because he doesn't know that her credit was bad, and now they're living in the basement with her parents. So what are we to draw from that? First off, how much was she really his "dream girl" if her credit was enough to drive him away? Secondly, why is it her fault that they're living in her parents' basement, where if he himself had decent credit and some savings, they could've gotten a house on his credit alone? And also, he claims that they'd be "living in a pleasant suburb," whereas this band-belonging hipster does not seem like someone who would aspire to suburbia.

I've harped on the Glade -- sorry, GLAH-DAY -- ads before, but they're just so ... odd. Can anyone explain to me why you would need to lie that your candles are from France? Because if that actually impresses people, then I don't want to know those people.

If you think the Cialis people had trouble depicting the product's purpose, imagine the folks at Activia yogurt. They are apparently trying to promote a yogurt that, uh, helps you go to the bathroom. (In their words, helps you "regulate your digestive system.") So first they haul out Jamie Lee Curtis and have her rub her belly, and then it gets really weird. They show a CGI stomach with a bunch of little circles running around on it. Then the circles form into a downward-facing arrow and slide out of view. In other words, hey! The product worked! In other other words, yuck! I'm also weirdly fascinated that JLC claims "87%" of people in America suffer from "occasional" irregularity. So 13% are never, ever, constipated? Who did this survey, and how can I make sure I never have that job?

Share your thoughts on nonsensical happenings in commercials in the comments.

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Comments

Cialis is the worst one of all. Also, the one where the woman says she has to wear used catheters for the rest of her life is sickening. It is promoted by some medical supply company.
Once he marries his dreamgirl and her bad credit, he assumes it. It affects both their credit ratings so that he cannot get a loan on his own anymore.
I love the prescription drugs ads that rattle off all the side effects, including may cause cancer or death, and just when I'm thinking I wouldn't ever take that stuff, the happy pill-taker says, "Ask your doctor if [this stuff] is right for you!" I don't think so.
The "Think with your dipstick, Jimmy!" one should be taken off the air.  It is very offensive, between the allusion to whatever men think with and the smacking of the gentlemens' fannies with the dipstick violence.  Whatever were they thinking???
I don't understand the one where the woman crashes her car into her own bathroom because she can't clean it.  That doesn't make sense on any planet.
What about those personal female razor commercial where the woman walks by a topiary plant and it turns into a triangle, or rectangle and even a circle?  why?
I never understood the Airwick commercials with the cartoon animals. An octopus is not going make me want to buy air freshener.
Cavemen selling auto insurance?  I not only never understood these commercials but also am completely befuddled by the staying power of these infantile ads.
hahaha! That reusing catheters commercial is so terrible I cant help but laugh. Definately the worst out there. The lady looks so forlorn and embarrasssed about having to boil catheters... and yet she (theoretically) goes on national TV to complain.
At least that particular freecreditreport.com ad stated an action he *could* have taken if he'd known her credit was bad (ditch her and get a dog), but the others in the series make no sense. Knowing your "credit score" does nothing to help you actually *get* credit, except perhaps inspire you to slowly fix it over time. Signing up for that service won't magically get you a loan for a better car, or land you a better job (one not selling fish to tourists), for instance.
I have a solution for all of you that feed on the need to be offended. If these ads offend you, there is this amazing new invention for TV's and radios, and it is called, are you ready, the on-off switch. Also, if you must watch TV that badly there is this other great invention called the DVR, which allows you to miss the Satanic messages of these ads.

For me, maybe some of them are for me, maybe some of them aren't. I am just mature and intelligent enough to understand that my opinion doesn't matter, and neither does yours.
Please people, get over yourselves.
And what about the woman sucking down the yogurt in the grocery store....and then looking around so "mischievious".  The slurping sounds are enough to disgust me, but then the "oh, aren't I adorable" glances make me turn my channel everytime.
You people are cracking me up! This is why they call television mindless. It's not supposed to make you think so hard! LOL

Fred, about the topiary thing. Ask your wife. It's a girl thing. ;)
I don't get how ads keep promoting people as jerks, like the KFC ad where the co-worker eats another's meal and such. Why would I want to be associated one of these rude people? It doesn't make be want to buy the product if all the people who promote it are rude.
The worst one of all is the "Have a happy period" commercial.  Think of all the adds for products to "help" men achieve pleasure, while the products advertised for women are for the purpose of preventing pregnancy and wanting us to be happy when our periods come says something in general.  
"Think with your dipstick"??? Ok, I get the giggle-factor concept in advertising, but could they be more lame? And why the Scottish guy? Is it a Scottish company? And why is he hitting men in the back of the legs with the dipstick? Is there something kinky going on here? Weird, and stupid.
The caramilk commercials. I'm sorry but a bunch of weird people rubbing themselves all over each other does not make me want to buy a caramilk.  The opposite in fact.  That and the perverted Burger King King.  Really???
I really despise the FreeCreditReport.com commercials with the stupid singing guy. It isn't even right to call it noise. Besides that it isn't free at all. False advertising. False singing. I'd like to see how hard I cold hit the guy in the head with a canoe oar.
To Joel Lenz, what crawled up you and died?  This is a light and funny conversation about idiotic ads, not a discussion of the Kant's theories.  Why did you come here if you oppose the entire spirit of the conversation?  If you are so easily offended, there's this new thing on computers called an off switch which I suggest you utilize.
Extenzzzzz - (Yeah, RIIIIGHT ---) "It doesn't really matter to me if I'm LARGER...."  (GIVE ME A BREAK!  Did that REALLY come out of a guy's mouth?)  If he doesn't really care - I WANNA MEET HIM !!!!!!!!
There is an Activia commercial where two women are by the pool and one asks the other if she's going to jump in. The woman says she can't because she's irregular. Since when does this stop a person from swimming?
The cialis commericals make my husband & I laugh so much. The drug is suppose to make you want to get together--why separate tubs?? We  used to laugh at the viagra ones--you had to dance to take it....
Talking about the ads is exactly what marketing people and the client they represent want you to do.  Apparently their plans are working.
OMG E. Speirs, the perverted Burger King! Yes! Creeps me out beyond words, to the point that I HAVE to look away from the screen.

Flo (the Progressive lady) is getting increasingly annoying.

But I will NEVER tire of the Snuggie ads. They are classic, especially the scene where the family is cheering the little kid's baseball (?) game, all wearing snuggies. Can you IMAGINE how humiliated the kid would be? Hilarious.
I find the commercials for EnZyte ("for natural male enhancement") so offensive.  The unattractive couple talking about how much "fun" they're going to have and how much "larger" he's going to be.  Please - keep it to yourself.  This product has got to be snake-oil anyway.  
Actually I think the Freecreditreport.com guy is cute.  There was a little article on him in the last People magazine.  His last name is Violette, he's from Canada, and he doesn't do his own singing, but he does play the guitar.  I also think the seafood restaurant and Renaissance Faire FCR.com commercials are cute.  So is the celebrity party one, for that matter.  And the dream girl one at least has a nice tune (I'll bet she's mad at him for squeezing his whole band into their basement apartment!).
Have you seen the original one for Quiznos (I think they since changed it), where the guy is talking to the oven, and the oven is telling him to "put it in me?" and making other extremely suggestive remarks.  But at least they are not homophobes - the oven speaks in a male voice.
There a commercial for (I think) the Tempur-Pedic mattress where the bed is out in a field with a glass deck rail around it. I figure they're the same folks with the twin outdoor bath tubs. For after the Cialis kicks in.
How about anti-depressant drugs that may increase suicidal thoughts?
I do love the way they speed up all the side effects for any and all prescriptions to the point that the side effects disclaimer is just as long as the sales pitch. I do listen carefully hopeing that maybe they will slip in " may cause spontanious human cumbustion" or "if you grow a  third eye" or something ridiculous just to see who is listening.;D
That sham wow guy in that "your gonna love my nuts" commercial is one of those wtf? moments.
I would like to see all the commercials for prescription drugs banned, off the air.  Not because they offend me but because the prescribing of drugs should be left to professionals, not patients nagging their doctors about imaginary illnesses such as restless leg syndrome.
Bring back the crazy rat-like Quiznos rodent!!

On a less fanatical note: give the guy in the UPS whiteboard commercials a haircut, please.  And that Palm Pre Botticelli-esque chick w/the juggler? Creepy.

And I love that the Snuggies(TM) people at the football game all look like monks. (cue Gregorian chant - Ohhhhhhhhmmmmmmm...)
I think they should put the Ad Agency name on the commercials so we can single them out for coming up with idiotic idea's. And ... Rich from Staten Island, NY ... being married doesn't mean you can't get credit on your own using just your own name.
Frighteningly enough, I get the Castrol Oil ads. They use a scottish charicature because for years, former racer car great, Jackie Stewart was the spokensperson for Castrol. I just don't believe the men in the ad are being smacked on the bum or they wouldn't be brought to their knees. I always thought they were being hit along the backs of their legs. Still senseless though.
Personally, I've never understood these television commercials for various pharmaceuticals which offer the following disclaimer [or something similar]: Caution: this medication should not be handled by women who are pregnant or MAY BECOME PREGNANT.  What's in this stuff anyway, and why would handling it cause any concern for women who may become pregnant sometime down the road?  
The Burger King is the most disturbing character ever created. If John Chidsey (CEO of BK) or any of his cronies are reading this, please tell him my entire family goes out of their way to avoid BK in case this demon is lurking inside. We will not support an organization that funds evil, just like we don't buy Al-Qaeda Pops or Michael Vick Milkbones.
I loved the ESPN 360 commercials with Billy Mays selling it like it was a cleaning agent. "Live sports at work? Thats much better than work at work!" Funny everytime.
They ought to make a Cialis commercial with the guy from Monty Python who makes everything the other guy says sound sexual. Know what I mean? <nudge,nudge><nudge,nudge>
I just got a loan and you can get it without having both spouses credit checked.  Maybe certain states have different rules that require both parties be on the loan.
Activia says that 87% of people suffer from "occasional irregularity".  Maybe they're not saying the other 13% are NEVER constipated, maybe they're saying the other 13%are ALWAYS constipated
SOMEtimes, the quirky commercial is so great, though non-sensical, that it really becomes a classic.  One that I always enjoyed immensly was the Snickers commercial where an office worker is sitting at his desk snacking on a snickers and a guy in a suit walks and asks if he can help him enjoy the candy, produces a guitar and serenades him with the "Happy peanut soar over chocolate covered mountain tops..." song.  ...the WORld!  Find myself humming the tune and chanting "the WORld" at the end.  Pretty effective.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhEQ066WDAA
Personally, I no longer watch or listen to commercials.  I hit the mute button and work on something else until it's over.
nobody hate those geico ads? we already have geico. i switch channels immediately when they come on. they re so god awful we're looking to get a better deal elsewhere. looks like allstate and I can't wait to tell geico why we looked high and low for a better deal.
Lets not forget the Sponge-Bob Square Butt Burger King commercial...!! Those dancers are squarely constipated...!
What about the Dell "Lollipop" commercial where at the very beginning a guy pops up from in front of the other guy and fastens his overalls?  Sex sells?
I can't stand the cartoon bears with the dingle berries. I don't want to see ANYTHING with little bits of tissue stuck to it's butt. Gross!
How about GoDaddy.com?  Does ANYONE know what the actual purpose of this site is?  Unless it's a soft-core porn site (it isn't), their commercials make no sense at all.
The Cialis bathtub scene, Viva Viagra (poor Elvis must be rolling over in his grave), and the phrase "bifidus regularis" are on my hate list.  Thank God for DVRs!
There is a commercial for a male enhancement product that shows the girls gyrating their buns and stretching their chest out to attract the guy and next thing they are leaving to give the impression they are going to get it on.  I can't figure out if the place is a cathouse or what.  I have never seen anywhere quite like that.


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