Music
We've discussed misheard lyrics before, but how come so many lyrics just don't make sense, even when they're heard correctly? Let's take them to task.
CONTINUED >>
In my head, I keep a list of three musical acts that I just can't stand to hear. If one of those acts comes on the radio, I invoke the Rod Stewart Rule. The Rule gives me the right to change the station, instantly, no questions asked, no argument, simply because that act is on my list.
CONTINUED >>
Are we in the middle of the Susan Boyle honeymoon, or the backlash, or the bogus backlash, or the backlash to the backlash? I can't keep up.
CONTINUED >>
See, this is why I love the misheard lyrics topic, and never really get tired of it. Because for every "there's a bathroom on the right," a.k.a. a lyric that's been banging around this topic for decades now, there's a "I fight with Loralee, Loralee always wins."
The "Loralee" lyric is how reader Allie's sister misheard "I fight authority, authority always wins" in John Mellencamp's "Authority Song." and I tell you, I am never going to hear that song again without singing the new version. Loralee must be one tough cookie.

AP file |
KISS wants to rock and roll all night, and probably every day.
|
Since we're pushing 500 comments on the original post as I write this, it's hard to sort through and find the gems. Here are my favorites so far.
"Mine was for the Beatles' "Paperback Writer." For the longest time (seriously, until I was in college), I thought the lyric was "Take a back right turn" instead of "Paperback Writer." --Jen
"One I still get teased about by my brother: "Help me Rhonda, help me get a ride on my horse." Hey, I was only 8 or 9 at the time!" --Andy
"One of my co-workers legitimately thought that the chorus to Van Halen's 'Panama' was 'Had enough! Had enou-ugh!' He started singing it at the end of a work day and we all giggled heartily." --Jim
"A friend thought the lyrics in Sister Golden Hair were 'I could not make it Sunday 'cause I got some dandy grass' rather than ".. cause I got so damn depressed." We were in college so it made sense." --Rex
"I've heard many people mix up REM's Orange Crush line "I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush" with 'I've got my Sprite, I've got my Orange Crush' as if the band were enjoying some soft drinks." --Paul
Back to Kenny Rogers and "Lucille." I still think he sings -- 'Four hundred children and this crap that won't heal.' " --Wes
"Every girl's crazy about a shark that's tan." --David
"My 3-year-old at the time sang 'I can see all popsicles in my way' instead of "I can see all obstacles in my way" in the song "I Can See Clearly Now the Rain is Gone"." --Mel
"I heard 'Hollaback Girl' by Gwen Stefani as 'there ain't no Hall of Fat Girls.'" --Gavin ("I ain't no Harlem black girl" was also heard by a few of you.)
"(My ex) thought that it was 'I've got shoes, they're made of plywood,' instead of "I've got chills, they're multiplying" from Grease." --Michelle
"I used to believe that during his Peace Train song, Cat Steven's was singing 'The B-String sounding louder... higher up on the B-String.' --Bill
" 'I've been waiting for a squirrel like you,' Foreigner." --Jeni
"My son thought KISS sang 'I wanna rock and roll all night and probably every day.'" --Tami
Keep the misheard lyrics coming in the comments, and watch out for Loralee, she's trouble.
Let's resurrect the eternal misheard lyrics topic. All the Pringle haters! All the Pringle haters!
CONTINUED >>
How about one last Christmas-themed post? I've written about TV specials, goofy links, and annoying holiday commercials. Now let's tackle holiday music. No, not reviews or favorites or anything like that -- let's talk misheard lyrics (also known as "mondegreens").
Snopes.com has a great entry about misheard holiday lyrics. "Round John Virgin" is perhaps the most famous one. I can totally imagine kids mishearing that, because "yon" is just not a word we hear much these days.
Some of the Snopes entries seem like they might be made up, but they're so much fun I'm willing to go with it. No one could really have thought "deck the halls with boughs of holly" was "deck the halls with Buddy Holly," but imagining it is pretty funny.
I also love "Joy to the world! The Lord has gum!", "Get dressed, ye merry gentlemen," and "Police got my dad" (for "Feliz Navidad").
Another great misheard-lyrics site, Kiss This Guy, has holiday mondegreens mixed in with its regular lyrics, too, but I like how Snopes pulls out the holiday ones all on one page.
Am I Right.com has a lot of misheard holiday lyrics, usually tagged under "Traditional." ("On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me / a poached egg in a pear tree!")
Ever misheard a holiday lyric? If this conversation meanders over into non-holiday misheard lyrics, I'll let that go, too.
In sixth grade, my butt-rock friend Maria pressed her copy of Guns N’ Roses’ “Use Your Illusion II” into my hand. After hearing the rapid-fire drums that kick-start “You Could Be Mine,” a diehard fan was born. And now, after 17 years, I finally hold in my hands the latest album of new material from Guns N' Roses.
CONTINUED >>
A year and a half ago, as the birth of my first and only son was bearing down on me, I kept hearing from know-it-all friends how much my life was about to change. "You'll never do that again," they'd say about any of the number of random activities I considered entertaining.
CONTINUED >>
As I stood in the Seattle Center stadium on the last night of the Bumbershoot festival, listening to the crowd sing along as Death Cab For Cutie played “I Will Follow You Into the Dark,” the smell of the ocean filled the air and the seagulls that flew overhead gleamed white against the darkening sky. People in the stands sported twinkling, blue, glow-in-the-dark pins that looked like thousands of open cell phones and I found myself thinking about how completely invigorating it is to see a band play live.
CONTINUED >>
It’s certainly tough to put a new spin on much beloved original such as the Eurythmics’ "Sweet Dreams" and have most people love it, but some musicians can take anything from a huge hit to songs that are just OK and turn them into masterpieces.
CONTINUED >>